Spy Wars: Strong Agents Who Are Ruthless and Talk Little

Chapter 144: Puppet controlled by power

He walked over to a fallen enemy, crouched down, and retrieved the intelligence he'd exchanged his blood for. Su Ming's hands trembled slightly as he realized the success of this mission hadn't brought him the same satisfaction he'd always felt. Instead, doubts coiled around him like a venomous snake.

Zheng Yaoxian's question

After returning to the base, Su Ming immediately handed the intelligence to Zheng Yaoxian. Zheng Yaoxian carefully read the intelligence and a subtle smile appeared on his face. He looked up at Su Ming with a hint of inquiry in his eyes.

"Su Ming, you did very well this time," Zheng Yaoxian said calmly, "But I can see that something is bothering you."

Su Ming didn't answer immediately. He knew Zheng Yaoxian was incredibly perceptive, and not even the slightest of his emotions escaped his notice. After a moment's silence, Su Ming finally spoke, "I'm wondering... have I become too reliant on my 'ability'?"

Zheng Yaoxian frowned slightly. The word "ability" rarely came up in their conversations. More often, Su Ming's unique talent was considered his "gift" or "intuition" as a spy. But Su Ming knew it was more than just talent. As his missions increased, he found it increasingly easy to find optimal solutions in complex situations, even able to anticipate enemy moves. This "ability" made him immensely powerful, but it also left him feeling a tinge of unease.

"Are you questioning your own judgment?" Zheng Yaoxian put down the information in his hand, his eyes becoming sharper.

"It's not a question, it's just... sometimes I feel like I'm not actively thinking, but being pushed by some force." Su Ming expressed the confusion in his heart. He knew it was a dangerous idea, but he couldn't suppress this increasingly strong suspicion.

Zheng Yaoxian's expression grew serious after hearing this. He looked at Su Ming quietly for a moment before saying, "Are you worried that your own abilities will make you lose the ability to think independently?"

Su Ming nodded. This was exactly his biggest concern. As time went on, he found himself increasingly relying on his "intuition" that allowed him to make split-second judgments. But he began to question whether this "intuition" was distorting his judgment to some extent.

"I've experienced similar confusion before," Zheng Yaoxian's voice suddenly deepened. "When you possess abilities that others don't, you find yourself embarking on a lonely path. You can see further and do better than others, but you can also easily lose touch with reality."

Su Ming hadn't expected Zheng Yaoxian to say that, which surprised him a bit. "So, how do you deal with this feeling?"

"Don't let your abilities dominate you," Zheng Yaoxian said, his voice tinged with calm wisdom. "Always remember that abilities are merely tools. The true choice is yours. Your mind and your will are what matter most."

Su Ming pondered over Zheng Yaoxian's words. He knew that Zheng Yaoxian was reminding him not to be controlled by his own "ability", but to keep a clear head and always control his own destiny.

Questioning and Reflection

Returning to his room, Su Ming sat at his desk, a single, dim lamp emitting a faint glow. He took out a cigarette, lit it, and fell into deep thought. He had indeed relied on his "ability" many times in the past to complete missions, but this time was different. He felt that "ability" seemed to be beginning to erode his mind, making him lose his former composure.

He began to recall the first time he discovered this "ability." It was an indescribable experience, like a new door suddenly opened. The world became clear and transparent. All situations were like pieces on a chessboard, and he could easily see the direction of each move. However, as time went on, this ability brought him not only a sense of accomplishment, but also a deep sense of loneliness.

Su Ming stood up and walked to the window, gazing out at the pitch-black night sky. Moonlight streamed through the window, casting a chilling veil over the room. Su Ming knew that this ability made him nearly omnipotent during missions, but he also felt that his overreliance on it was alienating him from the real world.

"Have I been controlled by this ability?" Su Ming couldn't help but ask himself. Ever since he began to rely on this "ability," he found it increasingly difficult to trust others. Sometimes, he even subconsciously believed that everything around him was developing according to a predetermined trajectory, and that he was just a pawn in it.

This made Su Ming feel deeply frightened. He did not want to be a tool controlled by power. He longed to be able to control his own destiny and maintain independent thinking.

Reconsideration with Zheng Yaoxian

The next day, Su Ming found Zheng Yaoxian again. He decided to open up about his doubts and seek his advice.

"Mr. Zheng, I thought carefully last night and realized that my dependence on this ability has reached a dangerous level." Su Ming looked directly into Zheng Yaoxian's eyes, his tone full of determination. "I don't want to be a puppet controlled by this ability."

Zheng Yaoxian nodded, as if he had anticipated Su Ming's realization. After a moment's silence, he said, "Su Ming, I understand your concerns. Your abilities do give you a significant advantage on the battlefield, but they also place you under increased pressure. The world we live in is far more complex than you realize, and what you're experiencing now is only the tip of the iceberg."

Su Ming did not interrupt, he knew that Zheng Yaoxian's next words were crucial.

"If you want to break free from your reliance on abilities, then you must learn how to remain strong without them," Zheng Yaoxian said slowly. "This means you must re-examine every decision you make, ensuring they are truly based on your own judgment and not the influence of some external force."

"What should I do?" Su Ming was eager to know the solution.

"First, you must learn to control your thinking and not let your abilities dictate your actions. Whenever you make a decision, ask yourself whether it's based on rational analysis or driven by intuition. Second, learn to find a balance in complex situations, don't be carried away by victory, and remain humble and calm. Finally, always remember that you are a human being, not a machine."

Zheng Yaoxian's words were like a heavy hammer, hitting Su Ming's heart.