boyutpedia Chapter 57 Farce
Chapter 57 Farce
"Speaking of the season, the yellow bird season is almost over. The environment has been severely damaged in recent years, and the climate is abnormal. Many migratory birds' patterns have changed, so we can only try our luck in the mountains." Grandpa Huang and Grandpa Liu walked side-by-side on the gravel road of Zhengjia Village. Grandpa Huang carried a strange-looking birdcage. Inside the cage was a small yellow bird. The cage was about two feet long and one and a half feet wide, but the yellow bird only occupied a quarter of the space. On either side of the cage were two... The tent was open, and it had two sides. Inside, there were many millet stalks and ears of grain. Underneath the tent was a small mechanism, like a one-way door. A small weight was attached to the bottom. When a bird pressed down on it, the door would be pushed down, sliding the bird into a small space below. Then the weight would pull the mechanism shut, and the bird couldn't be pushed open from the inside. Once inside, it wouldn't be able to get out. The small space below had a small door, and the birds that were caught were taken out from there.
This thing is called a rolling cage, and that little yellow bird is called a birdcatcher. Birdcatchers are used to attract other birds of their kind. The primary requirement is that they can sing, and their calls must be melodious. Once the calls attract other birds, as long as the attracted bird eats the bait on the canopy, it will fall down. Then the other canopy will open, and the bird that fell into the trap will hit the mechanism below and fall into the small space below.
"You're really something. It's just a yellow bird. There are plenty of them at the bird market. If you want one, just buy one. Why do you have to go all the way to the mountains to catch it yourself?" Old Liu complained with some dissatisfaction, carrying a small cloth bag on his shoulder.
"I'm just avoiding Old Li, aren't I? That bastard is always messing with his cat, it makes me dizzy, I might even move in a few days." Old Huang was furious when he mentioned Old Li.
"Don't worry about it. We've been neighbors for decades. What can't be resolved? If you ask me, you should get a dog. With a dog around, see if their cat dares to go near them again," Old Liu said.
"I'd like to, but my wife is terrified of dogs. If I got a dog, it wouldn't be a big deal if she got angry with me, but I'm afraid she might get seriously injured," Old Huang said.
"What's there to be afraid of about dogs?" Old Liu asked, puzzled.
"There's nothing to be afraid of. The key is that she was bitten by a dog when she was little, and ever since then she avoids dogs."
"I've only ever heard the saying 'once bitten by a snake, twice shy,' but today it's more like 'once bitten by a dog, twice shy,'" Old Liu chuckled.
"You don't know anything, didn't you see her butt..." Old Huang said, but then suddenly realized that this involved his wife's privacy, and quickly stopped talking.
"Oh, oh, oh, I didn't see it, I didn't see it..." Old Liu nodded with a smile.
The two strolled along until they reached the innermost part of Zhengjia Village, outside a small courtyard with a large willow tree at the entrance. From inside came an old woman's furious voice: "That little brat dares to mess with me? You three are grown men, and you're afraid of these little puppies? Beat it! Anyone who dares to block your way, beat it to death..."
"What's going on?" Old Liu whispered.
"Who knows? Go check it out."
The two old men tiptoed to the outside of Yang Ming's yard and peered inside. They saw an old woman and three young men surrounded by a bunch of puppies in the spacious yard. The old woman was angrily berating the three young men, but the two old men could tell that she was deliberately lowering her voice.
"Look at them, so many spotted dogs..." Old Liu exclaimed in admiration.
"What's so special about spotted dogs? Look at the biggest one, doesn't it look just like a bear?" Old Huang said, pointing at the little bear.
"That's nothing. Look how well these puppies work together! It's like they're in battle formation. There are even three reserve soldiers at the door." Old Liu pointed to the three mixed-breed dogs guarding the door.
"Who do you think will win? Should we help them?" Old Huang asked.
"Who are they helping? A person or a dog? These four are clearly bullying someone on their own doorstep." Old Liu had some experience.
"Try to break them up, try to persuade them, otherwise it'll be troublesome if it really escalates. If these little pups bite you, you'll need a rabies vaccine," Old Huang said.
"You're quite enthusiastic, aren't you? You haven't taken a fancy to that old lady, have you?" Old Liu said with a wicked grin.
"What nonsense are you spouting? How can she compare to my wife?" Old Huang glared fiercely at Old Liu.
"Anyway, her butt is bigger than my sister-in-law's..."
"Say it again, say it again and I'll get angry with you..." Old Huang's face darkened.
So the two old men also entered the courtyard. Old Liu laughed and said, "I say, if there are any conflicts between neighbors, let the village committee mediate."
"Yes, yes, Auntie, this is someone else's house. Let's go back. We all live in the same village. I wonder what they'll think of us when they come back," Zheng Dayong quickly whispered to Bao'er's grandmother.
"Whose group are you?" Grandma Bao glared at Zheng Dayong, then looked at Lao Huang and Lao Liu. "Where are you guys from? Aren't you being a bit too nosy?"
"So the homeowner isn't home? Let me tell you, ma'am, this is considered trespassing. If they call the police, the police will arrest you." Old Huang hoped to use the authority of the law to resolve the dispute.
"Yes, Auntie, if we get caught and taken to the police station, we won't be able to face anyone anymore. None of us three brothers are married yet," Zheng Dahan said.
"You three brats, get out of here! Without you three, how could I not bring my granddaughter back?" Grandma Bao'er was so angry that her teeth itched. She strode towards the outer door and kicked the little bear blocking her way.
However, none of these puppies were easy to deal with. The largest of them, a bear cub, even had bear blood. As soon as Grandma Bao'er's little foot kicked in front of the cub, it bit her hard. The bite was so vicious that it almost bit off Grandma Bao'er's toes. Luckily, her feet were bound and her toes were somewhat deformed, so the bite only reached her shoe. After biting the shoe, the cub didn't let go. It just tossed its head around, and Grandma Bao'er's body tilted to the side, causing her to tumble and fall to the ground. Then she screamed like a pig being slaughtered.
The little bear's bite was like an attack signal; the remaining puppies pounced on the four of them, some biting their arms, some their ankles, some nibbling on their buttocks, and three silly little dogs even biting the three young men's genitals. Seeing how vicious the dog was, the three of them ignored the pain and their aunt, and ran away as fast as they could. The puppies chased them to the door and stopped, then came back to deal with the old lady.
"Too...too cruel..." When the puppy attacked, Lao Liu and Lao Huang hid to the side, watching the battle between man and dog with trepidation. Lao Liu's upper teeth were even clenched together.
"Stop..." Just as Dahei was about to launch its final attack, biting off the old lady's neck like it would bite off a wolf's trachea, Xiaobao'er finally came out of the house and immediately called for a stop. Following behind her was Liu Nannan, whose face was also very pale. These seemingly cute little dogs were actually so ruthless, they were really going to kill someone.
The puppies understood Xiao Bao'er's words and scattered immediately, but they still kept glancing at the old lady with predatory eyes, as if warning her.
Grandma Bao'er didn't actually have many injuries. When the puppies pounced on her, it looked scary, but they didn't bite hard. At most, they left a tooth mark and drew some blood. The final, fatal blow was the one from Big Black Hair. That was the real killer blow, but Little Bao'er stopped it in time.
From the moment the dog launched its attack to when Xiao Bao called for it to stop, only a few breaths passed. Even Xiao Bao herself didn't know that her shout had saved her grandmother's life.
"Grandma, are you alright?" Xiao Bao wiped away her tears and helped her grandma sit up.
Grandma Bao was almost scared to death just now, and was sitting on the ground catching her breath. When she heard what Bao said, she immediately shook her arm and threw Bao far away, making her fall to the ground. She cried, "You little brat, stop pretending here. You're just like your shameless, slutty mother..."
Liu Nannan quickly helped her cousin up and glared angrily at Bao'er's grandmother.
"My daughter and I are just like that. I'm going to teach you a lesson today. If you ever try to take advantage of my daughter again, the Liu family will never forgive you." When Aunt Liu heard the wailing and howling from next door, she immediately ran over. As soon as she arrived, she saw Grandma Bao'er pushing her daughter and causing her to fall. She was immediately furious.
"You slut, you're not a virtuous woman! You just wait, I'll teach you a lesson, you little whore!" Grandma Bao'er got up and limped towards the door.
"..." Aunt Liu was so angry that she gritted her teeth, wishing she could tear her mouth off, but she didn't move.
As soon as Grandma Bao stepped out the door, she saw Zheng Dayong, Zheng Dazhuang, and Zheng Dahan arriving with Old Zheng's family. Immediately, she became bolder, sat down on the ground, and started wailing: "My God, how am I going to live now? These heartless people have set their dogs on people..." She drew out the words like she was singing in an opera, slapping her thigh hard after each cry. It's said that this is the pattern of how older generations waile.
"What's going on? Why are you all here?" The speaker was Zheng Dabao, the village secretary. He was on his way to a meeting in the township, but before he even left the village, he saw a group of people from Old Zheng's family, carrying sticks, marching towards Yang Ming's house. Fearing something might happen, Zheng Dabao quickly followed.
"Brother Da Bao, this family keeps a dog that bites people..." Grandma Bao complained, crying.
"They're not home, what are you doing here?" Zheng Yu, his face cold, stepped out from the crowd and stared at the three young men covered in teeth marks and bloodstains. "What are you doing here?"
The three young men had been afraid of the eccentric Uncle Zheng Yu since they were little. Zheng Dayong stammered, "Uncle, it's... Bao'er is at their house. Auntie... is going to pick up Bao'er..."
"Clap clap clap..."
With three slaps in quick succession, Zheng Yu slapped each of the three men hard across the face. "What did I tell you? Forgot, you bastards? Anyone who dares to cause trouble here is a slap in my face. You think you're all grown up now...?" Zheng Yu roared, then kicked each of the three men hard, sending them tumbling to the ground. The three men got up, turned, and ran away.
"Zheng Yu, mind your own business. This isn't Zheng Yunqian's house anymore. He sold it a long time ago, and he never wants to see you again..." Grandma Bao'er roared.
"You never want to see me again... You never want to see me again..." Zheng Yu muttered, his eyes instantly turning red as he stared at Grandma Bao'er and walked towards her step by step.
"What nonsense are you spouting? Why are you provoking him? Run!" Zheng Dabao had been watching Zheng Yu's reaction closely. Seeing that he had gone crazy again, he immediately grabbed Zheng Yu's waist and shouted loudly at Bao'er's grandmother.
Grandma Bao thought that Zheng Yu's madness would be cured now that he had gotten married and his wife was pregnant, and that he would have something to worry about at home. Little did she know that this was not the case at all. When he was supposed to go crazy, he would still go crazy. She was so scared that her soul almost flew away, and she ran home as fast as she could.
Zheng Dabao alone couldn't hold Zheng Yu back. In the end, it took several young men working together to subdue him and drag him back to Zheng Yu's house.
The farce has finally come to an end.
"These mountain people are really amazing..." Old Liu and Old Huang huddled in the corner, trembling all over. Old Liu's legs were shaking like a leaf.
"No wonder they say that bad people come from poor and remote places. This is really... terrifying..." Old Huang was calmer than Old Liu. He even knew to hold his cage tightly. Luckily, the cage was made of iron. If it had been made of sorghum stalks or bamboo strips, it would have broken from his grip.
"Meow..." A meow rang out, and a large, dark cat emerged from the east wing. It slowly walked into the courtyard, then went to the bloodstains, kicked its hind legs, and covered the bloodstains. This guy even knows how to clean up the scene.
"It's... Meow... I know whose house this is..." The moment Old Huang saw Meow, his face turned pale, and the rolling cage in his hand fell to the ground with a 'thud'.
"What do you two gentlemen do?" Aunt Liu asked.
"Auntie, these two old men are trying to break up the fight," Liu Nannan said, her face pale.
"Thank you both, gentlemen," Aunt Liu said quickly.
"You're welcome. But, sister, does your village always seem to have deaths?" Old Liu blinked repeatedly.
"No, no, it's just an occasional occurrence. The guy who hit me earlier, he's a bit mentally unstable, he gets a seizure when provoked," Aunt Liu explained simply.
"Thank goodness, peace is the most important thing..." Old Huang breathed a long sigh of relief. Today was really exciting. First, there was a battle between man and dog, and then the madman unleashed his fury.
"Xiao Fen, come out with me for a moment..." Zheng Dabao called out from outside the fenced yard.
"Coming right away..." Aunt Liu replied, and said to Bao'er, "Bao'er, your sister was frightened today, let's go to the hot springs to play." She turned and walked out of the courtyard.
"Oh!" Xiao Bao'er responded, then took the older girl's hand and went to the hot spring.
"Let's go too..." Old Liu and Old Huang helped each other and walked out together. This place was a dangerous place, and the farther away they were, the safer they would be.
The two old men fled in panic. They had only gone about two hundred meters when a transport truck stopped in front of them. A window rolled down, and Yang Ming leaned out: "Grandpa Huang, Grandpa Liu, what brings you to Zhengjia Village?"
"Is that you, young man? Oh my? Isn't that the girl who bought the flowers? Are you a family?" Old Huang looked up and saw Yang Ming's face. Through the car window, he also saw Wei Qingqing sitting next to him.
"Yes, this is my wife." Yang Ming opened the car door and jumped out. "Why are you two so disheveled?"
"Young man, is your house at the very back, with a big willow tree in front of it?" Old Liu asked.
"Oh, really? What's wrong?" Yang Ming asked, puzzled. At that moment, Wei Qingqing also got out of the car.
"That's right, it almost killed someone. Your dog is really too fierce. It held that old lady down and was about to kill her. Luckily, that little girl stopped it in time," Old Huang said with lingering fear.
"Ah?" The young couple were both shocked and quickly got into the car to rush home to check on things.
Watching the delivery truck speed away, the two old men exchanged a glance, and Old Liu said, "Should we go after them and see?"
"I'm not going, Miaomiao is at their house..." Old Huang hugged the birdcage tightly and shook his head.
"I miss that big parrot. Why don't you wait here while I go back and take a look?" Old Liu said.
"Let's go together. I've never seen anyone like you. You've already sold it to someone, what's the point of looking at it?" Old Huang muttered, taking the lead in walking back. Old Liu shook his head and quickly followed.
When Yang Ming and the others returned home, Zheng Dabao was coming out of Liu Sao's house. "Don't worry, you are Bao'er's biological mother, her primary guardian. This is clearly stipulated by law. Unless you lose your guardianship capacity, no one can take her away."
"Thank you, Uncle Da Bao!" Aunt Liu said with a smile.
"Why did you look so pale yesterday? If your in-laws dare to try and take it from us, the Zheng family won't stand for it and will all support you and your daughter," Zheng Dabao said with a smile.
"Hmm!" Aunt Liu felt a lump in her throat.
"Uncle Da Bao, what's going on?" Yang Ming got out of the car and walked over, with Wei Qingqing following closely behind.
"Yang Ming, you have too many dogs at home. They're biting people. You'd better do something about it," Zheng Dabao said with a smile.
"How many were bitten? When we came back, we ran into two old men who told me that someone in their family almost died. What happened?" Yang Ming asked.
"It bit four people. It was Bao'er's grandma who insisted on adopting Bao'er and brought her three little brats to sneak over and snatch her away. These people are really something. How old are you? Can you still take care of children? They deserved to be bitten by dogs," Zheng Dabao said with dissatisfaction.
"You want to snatch Bao'er? Where is Bao'er?" Wei Qingqing asked hurriedly.
"They didn't steal her. Bao'er was watching TV at your house when her grandma and her entourage broke into your house. Your dog stopped them. Bao'er and her sister are at your hot spring now," said Aunt Liu.
"That's good..." Wei Qingqing breathed a sigh of relief. She still cared a lot about Xiao Bao'er.
"Did Grandma Bao'er get bitten? I'll go check on her..." Yang Ming hurriedly went to visit Grandma Bao'er.
Aunt Liu knew Bao'er's grandmother's temperament well and knew that if Yang Ming went, he would definitely say something bad. So she quickly stopped him and said, "Don't get involved in this. Just pay for the vaccines and nutrition expenses."
Yang Ming thought about it and realized it was true, so he said to Wei Qingqing, "Qingqing, go and get ten thousand yuan."
Wei Qingqing hurriedly ran home and took out 10,000 yuan from the closet.
"This is just a small token of my appreciation," Yang Ming said, handing the money to Zheng Dabao.
"Give it to me, I'll take it to them. I still have things to say to them." Before Zheng Dabao could take it, Aunt Liu reached out and took the money, then turned and walked towards Bao'er's grandmother's house.
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