Substitute Driver's Notes

Chapter 6 Partnering to Sell Li Wei

After exchanging a few pleasantries upon entering, Chen Guojun pulled Li Wei to the balcony to smoke.

He then pushed away Lu Feng, who had come to smoke, and Li Wei knew something was wrong, but he just smiled and chatted with him casually.

The two men sat on the balcony smoking, with a small bucket in front of them filled with cigarette butts—all Li Wei's doing.

Chen Guojun sat on a small stool, took a deep drag on his cigarette, slowly exhaled the smoke, and said enviously, "Your wife is so good to you! She even lets you smoke on the balcony, I always go downstairs to smoke."

Li Wei smiled smugly: "That's right, my wife is very understanding."

Chen Guojun was speechless. "Why are you getting all worked up over just a couple of casual compliments?"

"Ahem," Chen Guojun decisively changed the subject.

"I heard from my colleagues that those people might be released on bail. I'm worried they might retaliate against you. For the safety of your family, I hope you can move or find a new job. If you have any difficulties, you can talk to me."

Li Wei scoffed, "You think I'm afraid of them? If you ask me, you should just find someone to secretly teach them a lesson, beat them to death."

"I know you're not afraid, but the child is still young! You can't guard against thieves every day. Besides, we're police officers, not gangsters, and we can't possibly have people watching them every day."

We have no reason to touch them if they don't commit crimes, but if they do, ordinary people will suffer. This is the difficulty of our work, and I hope you can understand.

"Alright, enough with the bureaucratic airs. Sigh! How did I get myself into this mess? What am I supposed to do now? Move? I can't afford a house, and this is just a resettlement house from the demolition compensation. I did help you catch some bad guys, didn't I? Even if you don't give me a banner and 500 yuan, you can't just rip me off like this!"

Chen Guojun slammed his cigarette butt into the small bucket, extinguishing it with a hiss: "Don't give me that sarcastic talk. Do you think I don't want to arrest the bad guys? But I'm a policeman, I can only act according to the law. Otherwise, what's the difference between me and those bad guys?"

Li Wei pursed his lips and remained silent.

"My family originally had a house we wanted to sell, but now we're not selling it anymore. We'll swap with you. It's convenient for schooling there, and the schools are good too. It's not far from your father-in-law's house, in the Hanlin Shuxiang residential area. What do you think?"

Li Wei recalled the location of that neighborhood and exclaimed in shock, "Holy crap, are you crazy? Your wife will beat you to death? I'm not changing!"

Chen Guojun's hands trembled slightly as he took out a cigarette and handed one to Li Wei, then lit it himself with trembling hands: "We men handle things. Women are all talk and no action. She makes the decisions on small matters at home, but I make the decisions on big matters."

Li Wei sighed: "Same as me, but nothing major has happened in our family over the years of marriage. I appreciate their kindness, but I'll let it go. As long as they don't come with guns, I can still protect my family."

Chen Guojun took a deep drag, smoking half of his cigarette: "You're not going to work anymore? What are you going to eat if you just stay home all day? I heard from Lu Feng that you're not well-off either. You two had a fight about this, right?"

"Damn, this chatterbox, don't worry! Her mother and three won't go hungry."

Chen Guojun coughed a few times, finished his cigarette in two puffs, and threw away the butt: "Old Li! We're friends, right?"

Li Wei nodded: "Based on your care for my brother-in-law and what you just said, I'll consider you my friend."

"Oh? Thank you! You've heard of the ancient saying 'to share wealth'!"

Li Wei laughed in exasperation: "Trying to play tricks on me? This isn't ancient times anymore. Back then, you could have taken several concubines. Try that now. Like I said, I appreciate your kindness, but I'm not exchanging the house."

Chen Guojun grinned: "No wonder your wife scolded you. You didn't even take advantage of the deal. Are you stupid? If you don't like it, just give me the difference."

"I'm broke. My brother-in-law emptied his savings for his wedding, and I just managed to save a little money, which I then gave to a friend. Our houses are tens of thousands more expensive than each other, and besides, my old house is hard to sell." (Note: In early 06, housing prices in third- and fourth-tier cities were very low; ours was around 1100 yuan per square meter, and now they've increased tenfold.)

Chen Guojun smiled and said, "It's not a big deal if we don't have money. My house is a bit bigger than yours. The important thing is that the kids have a good school to attend! We're all doing this for the kids!"

Okay, my house is bigger. You can give me 50,000 yuan to cover the difference in price, based on the market value. That way, neither of us will lose out. Give it to me if you have the money, otherwise it's fine. It's not a big deal; just consider it a gesture of friendship.

Li Wei shook his head repeatedly: "No, no, I'm afraid you won't be able to explain it to your wife when you get home. What if your wife beats you to death? We ordinary people will lose a good policeman."

"She wouldn't dare; hitting me would be assaulting a police officer."

"What a pretentious act! You've dragged a couple's squabble into assaulting a police officer? Do you think I'm stupid? Tell me! We've only met twice, and you've given me such a huge gift. What are you up to? Are you planning to get me to stand up for you and kill your boss so you can climb the ranks?"

Chen Guojun couldn't help but laugh: "We've met three times, this is the fourth time, and we even had drinks together, don't you remember? What kind of nonsense is going on in your head? What era are we living in, still trying to assassinate leaders? Don't you want to live?"

Li Wei laughed too: "Just kidding, but when did we ever drink together? I don't remember."

"When Lu Feng got married, there were eight of you at your table. You, with your big drinking jug, got seven of Lu Feng's colleagues drunk, and then you went around challenging people with your bottles. I couldn't stand you bullying the younger people, so I volunteered to fight back. We both got drunk together, don't you remember?"

Li Wei scratched his head in confusion: "I was so drunk that day, I don't remember anything at all, I don't even know how I got home."

"Alright, stop worrying about this. Let's go out for a few drinks."

"Okay, leave the balcony door open! Who's going to come out to smoke while we're drinking? It'll also help with ventilation."

"Brother, I, Old Chen, respect you as a man. Before you get beaten up, let's have a few drinks. When you're drunk, the beating won't hurt. I have experience with this."

"Cough, cough, cough," Li Wei choked on a puff of smoke and coughed repeatedly, "You're a captain and you still get beaten up? Is your wife a higher-ranking officer than you?"

Chen Guojun patted Li Wei on the shoulder: "Brother, this has nothing to do with rank. You still have a lot to learn!"

Li Wei had never been an official, so he nodded honestly without arguing.

The two returned to the table and sat down politely, with Lu Feng sitting at the lower end to keep them company and serving them tea and water.

During the meal, they drank and chatted about everything under the sun. After downing a pound of baijiu, Li Wei thought Chen Guojun was quite good; he could respond to anything Chen Guojun said.

After drinking two jin of baijiu, the two men put their arms around each other's shoulders and started calling each other brothers, almost to the point of becoming sworn brothers.

When they had drunk four jin (2 catties) of liquor, Li Wei patted his belly and sang loudly, while Chen Guojun was drowsy with drunkenness.

When they opened the fifth bottle, Lu Lili tried to stop them, but Lu Feng stopped her with a wink.

Lu Lili pulled Lu Feng to the balcony: "Why did you two get your brother-in-law drunk together? Have you lost your minds?"

Lu Feng whispered, "My brother-in-law can handle three jin (1.5 kg) of liquor; he won't agree unless he's drunk."

Lu Lili grabbed Lu Feng's ear: "Agree to what? He can't agree without my consent."

"Sister, it's good that you're letting go, it's definitely good. This isn't just so the kids can get into a good school. My husband and I were discussing swapping houses with you, but he disagreed. Getting him drunk will make things easier; he's more agreeable when he's drunk."

Upon hearing Lu Feng's words, Lu Lili released her hand and rubbed her brother's ears: "Go on! If you're still not satisfied, I'll go buy a few more bottles of wine. As long as Xiaoyu and Xiaowu can go to a good school, it's okay for your brother-in-law to drink a little more."