boyutpedia Page 46
Page 46
He orchestrated the cruelest farewell in the gentlest way.
He rescued her from the abyss, taught her how to feel joy, anger, sorrow and happiness, and then, after she had built up all her dependence and trust in him, he ruthlessly pushed her away and left alone.
Why……
Mai slowly slid down onto the cold floor, leaning against the refrigerator.
The heartbeat that used to accelerate when she judged it as "liking" was now replaced by an indescribable, intense pain.
It felt like a huge hole had been torn open in her chest, and the cold wind howled in, taking away all the warmth from her body.
She wanted to cry.
The emotions that had been suppressed for more than a decade surged wildly within her, and countless unfamiliar feelings instantly engulfed her.
She curled up and hugged herself tightly.
She finally regained all her emotions.
The price she paid was losing the person who taught her about emotions.
"Ah... ah ah..."
A long-suppressed sob finally escaped from deep within her throat, and large tears rolled down her cheeks, hitting the floor.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
Mai showed no reaction, remaining immersed in her own world.
The doorbell rang persistently for a while, followed by the sound of a key turning in the lock.
When Kazuko Sakurajima opened the door, this was the scene that greeted her.
Her daughter, the national idol who is always perfect and elegant in front of the camera, is now curled up in the corner of the kitchen like an abandoned child, trembling all over, crying her heart out, and on the verge of collapse.
Kazuko Sakurajima stood in the entrance hall. She had seen Mai's rebellious side, she had seen her indifferent side, but she had never seen her so... pained.
Yamamoto's assistant said that Yuto Itsuka had left as agreed.
She thought this meant everything would get back on track.
But she was wrong.
"Mai?" Kazuko Sakurajima called out tentatively.
The daughter did not respond, still immersed in immense grief.
Kazuko Sakurajima walked over quickly, picked up the letter from the ground, and read it quickly.
"do not Cry."
After reading the letter, Kazuko Sakurajima knelt down and reached out to touch her daughter's shoulder. "It's not worth it for such an irresponsible man."
The moment her hand touched Mai's shoulder, it was flung away by a tremendous force.
"Do not touch me!"
Mai suddenly raised her head, and in her red and swollen eyes, there was an emotion she had never seen before.
"Are you satisfied now?" Mai glared at her mother resentfully. "He's gone! As per your agreement, he's gone! Do you feel like everything is back under your control now? Do you feel like your perfect idol has returned!"
Kazuko Sakurajima was stunned by the almost consuming hatred in her daughter's eyes.
She opened her mouth, but found that she couldn't utter a single word.
It was indeed she who asked Yamamoto's assistant to remind Itsuka Yuto to keep his promise.
She tacitly approved of all of this happening.
She thought it was just pulling out a trivial decayed tooth; it would hurt for a moment, but it would be fine soon.
She thought Mai's feelings for that boy were just a fleeting infatuation during adolescence, a small interlude on her path back to the top.
Only now did she truly understand that what she had pulled out was not a cavity.
It is Mai's heart.
“I didn’t…” Kazuko struggled to explain, “I didn’t know he would…”
"You don't know?" Mai let out a shrill scream. "Of course you don't know anything! You don't know that he gets up in the middle of the night to cover me with a blanket, you don't know that he remembers all the things I like and dislike to eat, you don't know that he holds my hand when I'm scared! You only know your career, your movies, your perfect products! In your eyes, I'm not even a person, am I!"
As Kazuko Sakurajima watched her daughter's chest heave violently with emotion and the tears streaming down her face, a series of images uncontrollably flashed through her mind.
Mai cried on set when she was seven years old because she lost her pet cat.
When she was ten years old, Mai, holding her notebook, clumsily imitated Mai's smile.
At sixteen, Mai was severely reprimanded by herself on set for a bad shot, and then said expressionlessly, "I'm sorry, Mom, I'll do better."
……
She has always told her daughter that emotions are superfluous, tears are cheap, and only absolute rationality and perfect acting skills are the only path to success.
She thought she was clearing obstacles for her daughter and paving a smooth road for her.
But what exactly did she do?
She personally destroyed her daughter's ability to perceive happiness, and then, after she finally regained that ability, she conspired with others to uproot that happiness from her life.
She destroyed it all with her own hands.
Regret and guilt overwhelmed her completely, and her pride in her calmness and rationality crumbled in the face of her daughter's bloody accusations.
"Sorry……"
Kazuko Sakurajima finally shed all her armor and apologized, her voice choked with emotion.
She reached out and, with all her might, embraced her trembling daughter.
"I'm sorry, Mai... It was Mommy's fault... It was Mommy's fault..."
This was the first time in her life that she said "I'm sorry" to her daughter.
The body in her arms first stiffened and struggled for a moment, but after feeling the trembling embrace, Mai finally found an outlet for all the grievances, pain, and despair that had been building up for so long.
She buried her face in her mother's shoulder and burst into tears.
The mother and daughter embraced and wept in this cramped space.
After an unknown amount of time, Mai's crying gradually subsided, leaving only intermittent sobs.
Kazuko Sakurajima helped her and led her to sit on the sofa in the living room, then poured her a glass of warm water.
“He’s a bastard,” Kazuko Sakurajima said, looking at the letter on the table.
Mai held the water glass without saying a word.
“But he’s also a… bastard who loves you very much,” Kazuko Sakurajima added.
"I..." Mai finally spoke, her voice hoarse.
"He taught me what it means to like someone, to have a crush, to be angry, to be jealous... but he didn't teach me what it means to lose someone."
Kazuko Sakurajima felt her heart breaking as she looked at her daughter's bewildered and pained expression.
She reached out and gently stroked her daughter's long hair, her voice softer than ever before: "It's okay, Mom is with you. From now on, we'll study together."
To repair this relationship and heal her daughter's wounds, Kazuko Sakurajima knows there is still a very long way to go.
This time, she wanted to be by her daughter's side as a mother.
Volume 1: Chapter 59: The Emotionless Idol and the Unrequited Lover, The End (Eight Chapters, Finished)
Time is the most effective medicine.
In the first month after Yuto Itsuka left, Mai Sakurajima turned down all her work.
Her daily life consisted of taking care of Yukino and repeatedly cooking the dishes that Yuto had taught her.
Kazuko Sakurajima would come over every day, not to talk about work or the future, but just to keep her company.
Sometimes they would sit on the sofa together and watch an old movie. Sometimes Kazuko Sakurajima would try to clean, but she would make a strange noise with the vacuum cleaner, which would earn her a disgusted glare from Yukino.
The relationship between mother and daughter was slowly repaired through this daily silence and companionship.
One evening, Kazuko Sakurajima looked at Mai, who was lost in thought again, and suddenly said, "Mai, do you know that when I was young, I liked a penniless boy?"
Mai's eyelashes fluttered.
"Back then, I thought that as long as I had love, that was enough to fight against the whole world." Kazuko laughed self-deprecatingly.
"Later, reality gave me a resounding slap in the face. That's why I'm so afraid, afraid that you'll repeat my mistakes. I used my failure to forcibly set up roadblocks in your life."
"Looking back now, it was incredibly stupid."
This was the first time Kazuko Sakurajima had talked about her own life with her daughter.
Mai listened quietly without saying a word.
But that night, she took the initiative to say "goodnight" to her mother.
……
Starting in the second month, Mai Sakurajima picked up the script again—a new work by director Fujiwara, an art film, in which she played a female painter who lived alone with her memories after her lover's death.
Everyone in the company was worried that she wouldn't be able to handle the job, but Sakurajima Kazuko defied the objections and took it on for her.
Mai did not disappoint her mother and the director's expectations.
This film, titled "Echoes of Farewell," became another peak in Mai Sakurajima's acting career.
After its release, the film received both critical acclaim and box office success. Film critics were full of praise, saying that her performance "flowed with genuine sadness, and every look in her eyes was like a mournful poem."
The audience went wild for it.
However, just as everyone was cheering for Mai Sakurajima's rebirth, Kazuko Sakurajima received a phone call.
The call was from Yamamoto's assistant.
"President...we've found out some things about Mr. Itsuka."
"explain."
"He...he has passed away."
Kazuko Sakurajima felt her blood freeze instantly: "What did you say?"
“The day after he left Miss Mai, in a neighboring city, there was a traffic accident, a runaway truck… and he died on the spot.” Yamamoto said with great difficulty.
"The police determined it was an accident. Because the location was remote and there were no relatives involved, the news didn't spread. We only found out through private investigators..."
Kazuko Sakurajima's hand holding the phone trembled violently.
He didn't leave.
He is dead.
...How should she tell Mai about Liu's situation?
Kazuko Sakurajima made a decision. She solemnly said into the phone, "Yamamoto, I need you to do everything in your power to block all information. I don't want any word about this to reach Mai's ears."
"Yes!"
Kazuko Sakurajima hung up the phone.
She repeatedly told herself that she was not doing this out of selfishness, nor because she wanted to continue controlling Mai.
……
……
one year later.
Mai Sakurajima won the Best Actress award at the Academy Awards the following year without any doubt, thanks to her outstanding performance in "Echoes of Farewell".
At the awards ceremony, she wore a simple black dress, stood under the spotlight, and held the trophy in her hand.
"Thank you, Director Fujiwara, thank you to every member of the crew, thank you to my mother..." Her voice was calm and gentle, her gaze sweeping across the audience before finally settling on Kazuko Sakurajima in the first row.
Kazuko Sakurajima's eyes welled up with tears, but a proud smile graced her face.
"Finally..." Mai paused, and the hall fell silent instantly, "I want to dedicate this award to someone who taught me how to feel."
"You made me understand that tears can be salty, heartbeats can be fast, and longing can be painful... You made me realize that as an actor, the most important thing is not perfect acting skills, but having a heart that can perceive the world."
"Even though you're an idiot, thank you."